Borderline personality
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is characterized by emotional instability, impulsivity, relationship difficulties, the presence of obsessive or ruminative thoughts, intense emotional reactions, and the presence of addictive behaviors (e.g., excessive alcohol consumption) or self-harm. for example, excessive medication, self-inflicted injury, suicidal ideation, or suicide attempts).
Characteristics
Instability
Affective instability and sudden change in emotional balance (very fast transition, in a split second, from positive emotions to anger, from anger to euphoria, from euphoria to excruciating sadness and so on);
These emotional-mood changes can take several hours, at most a few days;
The relationships you have with those around you are often unstable or unstable (now you get along very well with your best friend, in 10 minutes he is your biggest enemy; in the relationship - stormy quarrels occur quite often , almost every day, from small things, such as unwashed dishes in the kitchen);
Relationship instability and the difficulty of maintaining a constant emotional relationship, which often leads to intense feelings of anger and a marked fear of abandonment ("acting out"). These are due to unfulfilled hopes, unfulfilled expectations of others, and so on.
Inner goal
The chronic feeling of "inner emptiness" or "inner emptiness" - arises from the need to feel strong emotions; emotions of a medium or sub-average level are not perceived (or are not realized), so the feeling of "I feel nothing" appears, translated by this "inner emptiness";
When emotions are very intense, especially in the case of negative emotions, they can be extremely overwhelming, which can lead you to self-aggressive behavior, suicide attempts, recklessness (for example, to shoot on the red and not care if you are hit by a car), driving "sportily" (without "paying too much attention to traffic rules") and / or unprotected sex, spontaneously;
I don't know who I really am
Identity disorders adopt a "chameleon-like" behavioral style, depending on the people they interact with. This happens so often that they may not know who they really are. Also, preferences, interests, career path, group of friends, the look, etc. changes very often);
Often, identity disorders are observed in the areas: self-image, sexual orientation, career choice, long-term project completion, entourage, preferred values, etc.
Fear of abandonment
The most common emotions that this cognitive pattern "activates" are:
- chronic anxiety about losing a loved one or loved one;
- sadness and depression when facing a real (or perceived) loss;
- anger at people I think have left them.
Impulsivity
Behavior is constantly unpredictable. For example, in the case of intense negative feelings, specific emotional reactions can take the form of self-harming acts (eg, cutting veins, plucking hair, sticking nails in the flesh, self-hitting, etc.).
Impulsivity is another characteristic of TPB, present in one of the fields: abusive spending, sex, alcohol and / or other substances, theft and / or acts of vandalism, food abuse, etc.
Let's talk about yourself...
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is characterized by emotional instability, impulsivity, relationship difficulties, the presence of obsessive or ruminative thoughts, intense emotional reactions, and the presence of addictive behaviors (e.g., excessive alcohol consumption) or self-harm. for example, excessive medication, self-inflicted injury, suicidal ideation, or suicide attempts).
If you have TPB, you have certainly gone through rapid emotional changes: from a state of well-being, euphoric, to very intense anger or overwhelming sadness, and again to a state of well-being. An ordinary day in your life looks like an electrocardiogram (ECG): now at the peak of happiness, in 5 minutes, at the peak of despair.
Of course, that's not all!
Those around you don't understand you and think about these states that they are "fit" and that "you have to control yourself", but it's damn hard!
All these emotions and states come upon you like a tsunami: you can't control them, they control you. Especially the anger!
Definition of anger:
Psychologist Charles Spielberger defines anger as "an emotion whose intensity can range from mild irritation to uncontrollable mania."
When our lives are in danger, when our rights or freedoms are violated, when the situation does not meet our expectations, we feel anger. Anger can also occur when a loved one disappoints us or betrays our expectations. It is important to note that anger breeds anger. This means that in conflict situations, when the interlocutor manifests behaviors and reactions specific to anger, it is very likely that we will respond similarly (loud tone of voice, swearing, etc.).
Unfortunately, all these mood swings make it very difficult to keep close relationships. And there's more!
Usually, people with TPB move very quickly from one extreme to another in the image they have of a person: from idealization to devaluation.
Also in this context, we can talk about the fear of abandonment.
Many of the most intense emotional peaks are feared that the person next to you will leave you. Thus, you do everything to avoid this: emotional blackmail, quarrels, suicide threats, you will make certain gestures to injure yourself, you will verbally and / or physically assault your partner, etc. or, on the other hand, you will threaten to leave or remove those around you so as to make sure that you are not abandoned.
Of course, after these conditions pass, you will be sorry and you will try to fix things. Sometimes, though, it's not that simple…
Sometimes, the feeling of insecurity related to one's own person (identity disturbance) can appear - as if you don't know who you really are.
People with TPB feel extreme emotions. What is below 6 out of 10 is not "detected". Thus, the feeling of "inner emptiness" is very common, which is difficult to bear. Sometimes you associate it with a state of boredom that you want to get out of, so you end up playing extreme sports, driving fast, having unprotected sex, hitting yourself or hurting yourself to feel the pain, and so on. At the same time, this feeling of "inner emptiness" can accentuate the thought that something is wrong with you, that you are not like others, which will lead to intense negative emotions and the conclusion that "life is not worth living" or that " life no longer makes sense. "
Sometimes, in order to get rid of this "inner emptiness" you resort to compulsive eating, in the hope that the food will succeed in filling the emptiness that you feel. But this is not the case, and then, after eating, you regret the amount of food ingested and resort to various strategies: laxatives, diet pills, etc.
In times of stress, you sometimes have paranoid thoughts whose leitmotif is distrustful and suspicious. You are convinced that others have hidden intentions, that they want to hurt you or take advantage of you, that you are afraid that they will use certain information against you, that they will betray you at some point, etc.
Borderline personality disorder does not go away, it does not heal.
What you can do is control your own thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
